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arrow back All Resources

Empathy

Family
Behaviors & Emotions Developmental Milestones Self-Care and Wellness

Helping Your Child Develop Empathy

Empathy is the ability to imagine how someone else is feeling in a particular situation and respond with care. This is a very complex skill for young children (and even adults!) to develop. Being able to empathize with another person means that a child:

  • Understands that they are a separate individual with separate feelings and emotions
  • Understands that others can have different thoughts and feelings than they do
  • Recognizes the common feelings that most people experience—happiness, surprise, anger, disappointment, sadness, etc.
  • Is able to look at a particular situation and imagine how another person might feel in that moment
  • Can imagine what response might be appropriate or comforting in that particular situation

Connect with a SpecialistSocial-Emotional Development

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Understanding and showing empathy is the result of many social-emotional skills that are developing in the first years of life.
Zero to Three
zerotothree.org
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Featured Video

Developing Empathy

Yes, you can help your child be more empathetic! Join Lauren, our Family Support Specialist, to learn practical tips to help your child develop empathy and understand that others have different thoughts and feelings than they do.

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Mindfulness Modeling for Parents & Caregivers

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Developing Young Children’s Emotional Regulation Skills

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Teaching young children about consent

Your Role in Nurturing Empathy

Empathize with your child. For example, you could say “Are you feeling scared of that dog? He is a nice dog but he is barking really loud. That can be scary. I will hold you until he walks by.”

Your Role in Nurturing Empathy

Talk about others’ feelings. For example, “Juan is feeling sad because you took his toy car. Please give Juan back his car and then you can choose another one to play with.”

Your Role in Nurturing Empathy

Suggest how your child can show empathy. For example, “Let’s get Claire some ice for her boo-boo.”

Your Role in Nurturing Empathy

Model empathy in the ways you speak and respond to family, friends, and strangers. Use language that validates emotions, like "You are really mad that I turned off the TV. I understand. You love watching your animal show. It’s okay to feel mad, but it is time for lunch."

Validate your child’s difficult emotions

Sometimes when a child is sad, angry, or disappointed, we rush to try and fix it right away, to make the feelings go away because we want to protect them from pain. However, these feelings are part of life and ones that children need to learn to cope with. Validating their feelings does not mean that we “give in”. Instead, it means that we tell our children that they are heard and it is okay to feel the way they are feeling. Zero to Three says “labeling and validating difficult feelings actually helps children learn to handle them.” When children know what they are feeling, how to put those feelings into words, and have been shown appropriate ways to manage their strong feelings, they are not just learning how to handle their own emotions but also learning to empathize with others.

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Acknowledge

“I know how much that hurts. I felt the same way when my friends didn’t want to play with me.”

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Empathize

“That’s how I feel sometimes when I have to go to work. The toys still have to be picked up. I’ll bet you can come up with some good ideas about how to get it done with quickly.”

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Suggest

“I can see that you are very upset with your baby brother right now. I can’t let you hit him, but you can draw a picture about how you feel.”

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Lerner, Claire & Parlakian, Rebecca. Zero to Three. 2021. How to Help Your Child Develop Empathy.

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