Empathy

Validate your child’s difficult emotions

Sometimes when a child is sad, angry, or disappointed, we rush to try and fix it right away, to make the feelings go away because we want to protect them from pain. However, these feelings are part of life and ones that children need to learn to cope with. Validating their feelings does not mean that we “give in”. Instead, it means that we tell our children that they are heard and it is okay to feel the way they are feeling. Zero to Three says “labeling and validating difficult feelings actually helps children learn to handle them.” When children know what they are feeling, how to put those feelings into words, and have been shown appropriate ways to manage their strong feelings, they are not just learning how to handle their own emotions but also learning to empathize with others.

Acknowledge

“I know how much that hurts. I felt the same way when my friends didn’t want to play with me.”

Empathize

“That’s how I feel sometimes when I have to go to work. The toys still have to be picked up. I’ll bet you can come up with some good ideas about how to get it done with quickly.”

Suggest

“I can see that you are very upset with your baby brother right now. I can’t let you hit him, but you can draw a picture about how you feel.”

Lerner, Claire & Parlakian, Rebecca. Zero to Three. 2021. How to Help Your Child Develop Empathy.