Parenting with love
You’ve asked your child to pick up their toys. Calmly. Clearly. Rationally. Instead of cleaning up, they ignore you.
“Maybe they didn’t hear me?” you think. So, you ask again – firmly but still with a calm, clear tone.
Nothing. You get a little louder – still nothing.
You are frustrated with repeating yourself. And then it happens – BOOM! You blow your fuse.
Out of options and feeling defeated, you’re left screaming the same demands you had requested calmly just minutes ago. Your child looks at you like you have three heads. The energy escalates and everyone is left frustrated and discouraged.
You have fallen into the repeat, remind, repeat, remind cycle once again.
Guiding children’s behaviors
It doesn’t have to be like this. Sure, there will be times that things escalate; but, for the most part, there are easier, calmer, and more effective ways of guiding your child’s behavior.
Children have a hard-wired need for power.
Children of all age, toddler through teens, have a hard-wired need for power and control. This is not a bad thing! This need for power drives young children to develop independence, to learn and challenge themselves, and to become their own person. Children thrive when you give them positive options such as choosing which clothes to wear, climbing into the car themselves, or picking what game to play. If you don’t offer these positive choices, they will exert their power negatively.