Potty Training

Helping Your Child Gain Toileting Success

It can be helpful to think of potty training as a process in which both you and your child have your own “jobs” to do. As the adult, your role is really focused on helping identify signs of readiness, teaching your child the words to use for body parts, urine, and bowel movements, and offering the tools your child needs to be successful in the toileting process.

When it comes to potty training, patience is usually rewarded!

It is up to your child to decide if they are ready and willing to participate in the toileting process. With the right tools and positive praise, your child will quickly show interest and learn to interpret the signs their body is sending!

Print ResourceToileting Children with Special Needs

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Ready, Set, Potty Time!

There are so many programs out there designed to support potty training, but which ones are good and which should be flushed? Together we will talk about the signs of readiness and how to make potty training a successful venture for you and your little one!

Toilet Training Children with Special Needs

When Toilet Training Isn’t Working: Navigating Toileting Troubles

Helping Your Child Achieve Nighttime Dryness

Featured Resource

Toileting Tip Sheet

Check out these tips on toileting! Share this resource with your child's caregivers to create a consistent toileting plan for your child.

Transitioning from Diapers to Undies

There are many steps to the toilet training process. The more ready the child is when you begin, the more quickly the toilet training process will go. Read books, sing songs, and make toileting part of everyday conversations. Initial success relies on your child understanding the use of the toilet, not mastering the process!

Build your child’s familiarity with the bathroom.

Let your child observe, touch, and get comfortable with the toilet and any visuals you have created before attempting to use it. Practice sitting on the toilet as part of your daily routine, including at each diaper change, with or without clothing on. After your child is comfortable sitting on the potty with clothes on, practice sitting without clothes. Allow your child to leave the potty at any time and never force them to sit.

Practice flushing

Build your child’s comfort with the sounds of the bathroom. Toss the stool from your child’s diaper into the potty – Let your child flush and make a big deal about saying “bye-bye” to their poop. Flushing can be loud and scary, especially in public restrooms, and fear associated with toileting can deter potty success.

Is my child ready to switch to undies?

When and how to help your child learn to use the potty depends on how ready your child is, as well as your own beliefs and values about toilet training. There is no “right” way or “right” age to learn. Children typically show signs of readiness between the ages of 2 and 4, with most using the toilet independently by Kindergarten.

Readiness signs for all children

Notices when diaper or clothing is wet or soiled
Shows interest in self-care (e.g., dressing, hand-washing, toileting)
Shows interest in other’s toileting behavior
Stays dry about 2 hours at a time
Has bowel movements that follow a regular and predictable pattern
Has the balance to sit on toilet 2 – 5 minutes
Follows a few simple directions (e.g., sit down)
Indicates need to go through facial expressions, postures, gestures, pictures, or words

Incorporate rewards and incentives to encourage toileting success.

Many parents wonder about offering rewards for using the potty—a sticker, an extra sweet, or a little toy every time their child is successful on the toilet. Although these kinds of rewards may encourage progress in the short run, the concern is that for some children, the pressure of “success” in the form of the reward creates anxiety or feelings of failure when they have a (very normal and even expected) potty accident. For other children, small rewards can be the perfect incentive encourage a desired behavior-known as behavior modification. You know your child best and what rewards, whether praise or a treat, will lead to toileting success. Whatever you choose, be consistent and reward every step of the journey depending on your child’s level of comfort. This may mean rewarding your child for just sitting or practicing flushing, slowing fading out rewards as your child advances through their toileting journey.

Ditch the diapers.

When your child has had success in all areas of toileting and dressing/ undressing, ditch the diapers and move right into underwear. While pull-ups can be a tool to utilize while practice sitting and building comfort, they can hinder toileting success. Accidents are part of the learning process and should be expected and accepted. When your child can actually feel the different between wet and dry underwear they are internally motivated to pee in the potty (rather than their pants!).

Parental readiness matters, too!

Understanding and recognizing your child's readiness signs is the key to switching to undies, but your readiness is just as important. If you are not ready for the leap into underwear or do not have the time to commit, it might not be the time to start.

Prioritize toileting

Make toileting a high priority. Prepare yourself and create a plan. Since you will be guiding this process, your readiness is also important!

Be consistent

Respond consistently and use the same or similar approaches in all settings, including ensuring all of your child's caregivers are using a similar approach.

Set aside time

Set aside adequate time to commit to toileting. If your time and focus are elsewhere, it likely isn't the right time to begin.

Toileting Tips

The Don'ts of Potty Training

What should I avoid when potty training?

Avoid switching to undies during stressful times or family transitions, including moving to a new home, changing child care arrangements, while you are expecting or have recently had a baby, and/or during an illness or family crisis. Additionally, stick to one transition at a time. Space out big transitions, including toileting, switching from a crib to a bed, weaning from the breast/bottle or pacifier, etc.

Avoid

Power Struggles

Toddlers are all about trying to gain some control over their world. They quickly figure out that they can feel in charge by refusing to do something they know their parent wants them to do. For better or worse, learning to use the potty is way up there on most parents’ list of what they really, really, really want their children to do—and children quickly pick up on that.

Avoid

Excess Emotion

Approach toilet training matter-of-factly and without a lot of emotion. Think of it as just another skill you are helping your child learn. If you show anger or disappointment, or overwhelming joy, it lets your child know this is something you want him to do badly. Refusing to do it becomes a very powerful way for your child to feel in control.

Avoid

Forcing

Children may try to regain control over their bodies by withholding urine or bowel movements if you force things. This can create physical problems, like constipation. In this case, it might help to take the pressure off. Stop talking about potty training or doing anything about it for a little while, until your child shows signs of readiness and interest again.

Just let it happen! When I stopped pushing and followed my child's lead, everything seemed to click.

John

Father of Two

Toileting Challenges

Nighttime Dryness

Nap time and nighttime training typically takes longer to achieve. Most children can stay dry at night between ages 3 and 7, with naptime readiness typically happening within the year after transiting to underwear. In the meantime, use disposable training pants and mattress covers when your child sleeps. Once your child is consistently waking (either at nighttime or naptime) mostly dry, move to underwear. It is better to have an occasional accident then create a strong association between peeing in a diaper during sleep. A helpful trick is to take your child potty once during the night to help them remain dry until morning.

Toileting Challenges

Accidents Happen

Accidents are a totally normal part of the process and should be handled as such. Never punish for accidents. Punishments do not make the process go faster, but may actually delay it.

Stay calm. Don’t scold, discipline or shame your child. You might say, “You forgot this time. Next time you’ll get to the bathroom.
Be prepared. Keep a change of underwear and clothing handy, including a wet bag for soiled.
Clean up immediately. Clean your child up immediately and allow them to be a part of the process

Toileting Challenges

Toileting Regression

Anything that causes a child stress may encourage him/her to return to a previous level of development, particularly if the change is recent. Stressors include an illness in the child or a relative, a new baby in the house, a change from crib to bed, or a move to a new house. Remain calm and focus attention on positive praise and encouragement. Typically regressions only last a short time.

Toileting Supports for Children with Special Needs

Download our toileting guidebook for more information on supporting the development of toileting skills in your child, tips on beginning the process, a list of disability-specific resources, and ready-to-use printable forms to complete alongside your care team.

Download

Helping Your Child Gain Toileting Success

When it comes to potty training, patience is usually rewarded!

Ready, Set, Potty Time!

Toilet Training Children with Special Needs

When Toilet Training Isn’t Working: Navigating Toileting Troubles

Helping Your Child Achieve Nighttime Dryness

Toileting Tip Sheet

Transitioning from Diapers to Undies

Build your child’s familiarity with the bathroom.

Practice flushing

Is my child ready to switch to undies?

Readiness signs for all children

Incorporate rewards and incentives to encourage toileting success.

Ditch the diapers.

Parental readiness matters, too!

Prioritize toileting

Be consistent

Set aside time

The Don'ts of Potty Training

What should I avoid when potty training?

Power Struggles

Excess Emotion

Forcing

Nighttime Dryness

Accidents Happen

Toileting Regression

Toileting Supports for Children with Special Needs

Read more from our team of experts.

All aboard for potty training

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