Understanding Behaviors and Emotions

Family

Behaviors & Emotions Preschool Age Children School Age Children

The Science Behind Your Child’s Behaviors

Your child is upset–throwing a full blown tantrum in the middle of the grocery store. You ask yourself “Why are they acting like this?! Can’t we have a peaceful trip to the store?” Understanding what your child is going through and why they act the way they act will help you identify how to respond and support your when they are struggling.

Your child’s behavior is sending a message

Besides showing typical signs of development, your child could be trying to send you a message through their good behavior and their challenging behavior.

Most messages your child will send fall into four categories.

Access: “I really want it.”
Sensory: “I am overwhelmed.”
Attention: “I need/want attention.”
Escape: “I don’t want to do this.”

Another way to know what message your child is sending is to do a little check in on the factors that can contribute to challenging behaviors. Is the environment or the ways in which you are responding to your child contributing to their behaviors? Keep reading to learn more!

Connect with a Specialist

Behavioral Expectations

Expecting too much (high expectations) or limiting your child's full capabilities (low expectations) can increase challenging behaviors.

CDC Developmental Milestones

Consistency in Parenting

Consistency is one of the most important and essential concepts when it comes to effective parenting. It is important to be consistent in the ways in which you support your child's emotional development and structure their daily routines.

Responding to Emotions

Emotional consistency means purposely choosing how you are going to engage with or respond to your child. For example, choosing to not yell and to calm yourself down before you respond.

Predictable Routines & Limits

Everyone thrives when they know what to expect, and children are no different. Predictability helps children organize information into their brain and gain an understanding of how the world works.

Supporting Independence

From birth, children are on a quest for independence and opportunities to develop independence are important for building a sense of self and self-esteem. Allow your children to try things on their own and develop a confidence in themselves (and you!) - even if it takes longer and is messier!

More About Independence

Environment

The environment plays a big role in influencing behaviors-good and bad. If your child is struggling, think about the small changes that could have a large impact!

Your Emotions

Your child's brain is still growing and developing. They are capable of so much, but so little at the same time. Model calm down techniques, such as taking a deep breath, and try to approach your child from a place of calm and understanding.

Understanding

Social-Emotional Development

The Why Behind Behaviors

As infants grow into toddlers and then preschoolers, they are developing independence and demonstrating a wider range of emotions. This means that they enjoy trying new things, are eager to play with peers, and want to please friends. At the same time, they experiment with negotiating with others, enjoy playing by themselves, and can be demanding as they stretch their independence. They are also feeling and experiencing a range of emotions that they have yet to fully understand.

More about

The difference between behaviors and emotions

The first thing all parents should know is the difference between emotions and behaviors. When parents confuse the two, it can lead to an increase in frustration and temper tantrums. We all feel and experience the same emotions and feelings. It is what we do with them, or the behaviors we display, that vary. There are not bad feelings, just inappropriate behaviors as a result of experiencing strong emotions.

More about

All behavior has meaning

All behavior is meaningful and purposeful! Certain behaviors are experienced as confusing or challenging when we don’t understand the message children are trying to send, or the behavior is viewed out of context.

More about

Helping your child understand their emotions and behavior

Children feel the same feelings we do as adults but lack the language to verbally express themselves and the self-regulation skills to experience emotions "appropriately." As a parent, your job is to help your child navigate the range of strong emotions he/she may be experiencing by providing emotional validation and the skills your growing toddler is likely still developing.

https://childcareanswers.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/Preschool-Behaviors-Featured-Video-1.png

Understanding the Meaning Behind Your Preschooler's Behavior

Assistant Professor at Butler University

Understanding Behaviors and Emotions