Skip to content
Child Care Answers Logo
  • News & Stories
  • Events
  • Contact
  • Resource Center
    Featured Resource
    Choosing Care
    Learn more
    • All Resources
    • Family Help Guide
    • Child Care Program Help Guide
    • Employer Help Guide
    • Community Help Guide
  • Our Focus
    Featured Article
    Effects of Child Care on Businesses and the Economy
    Learn more
    • Families
    • Child Care Programs
    • Community Partners
    • Employers
    • Additional Reports and Data
  • Team
    • Our Expertise
    • Our Staff
    • Our Board
    • Careers
  • Get Involved
    • Partner with Us
    • Advocate
    • Volunteer
  • Find Child Care
  • Donate
  • Resource Center
    • All Resources
    • Family Help Guide
    • Child Care Program Help Guide
    • Employer Help Guide
    • Community Help Guide
  • Our Focus
    • Families
    • Child Care Programs
    • Community Partners
    • Employers
    • Additional Reports and Data
  • Team
    • Our Expertise
    • Our Staff
    • Our Board
    • Careers
  • Get Involved
    • Partner with Us
    • Advocate
    • Volunteer
  • Find Child Care
  • Donate
  • News & Stories
  • Events
  • Contact
arrow back All News & Stories
Families Infant and Toddler

Coping with Infant Loss

Jamie Le Sesne Spears
October 1, 2021

by Jamie Le Sesne Spears, Family Engagement Specialist

Ever since I can remember, I have known two things about myself – I was going to be a teacher and I was going to have a family of my own. One of those dreams came quite naturally, and I have had the privilege to love and educate many young children over the years. It was starting a family that proved to be rather difficult. Here is my story of infertility and infant loss.   

We are 1 in 8.

Our parenthood story started with grief. My husband and I are the one couple affected by infertility out of eight. After two years of trying, we had our first round of in vitro fertilization (IVF). We were blessed to get pregnant. It sounds so simple when you write it out in a couple of sentences, but if you have experienced infertility and IVF, you know it is anything but simple. 

He was 1 in 2500.

It was at our 20-week ultrasound when we learned we were having a son, Reid. We had a few minutes to take in the excitement before we learned that our baby was diagnosed with a Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia (CDH) – a birth defect causing the diaphragm to not fully form, allowing abdominal organs to enter into the chest cavity and preventing the lungs to grow. Just one of every 2,500 babies are diagnosed with CDH, and those babies have a mere 50% survival rate. For the remainder of the pregnancy, we were hopeful, but we also feared and began to grieve what might be.  

reid spears

He was 50%.

Reid was born on July 11, 2017. He was beautiful and perfect. We knew he was going to be sick due to CDH, and shortly after birth, he was placed on life support. In the weeks that followed, we celebrated his life while grieving in preparation for the worst. His last breaths on earth were in my arms as we shared our past, present, and future together. He was the 50% of babies that die from CDH.  

The days that followed were numb, the weeks were paralyzing, and the months were empty. Yet, amid it all, we learned how to celebrate life and embrace a parenthood that is paved in grief. Reid underwent more in his little life than I had experienced in mine. He taught me about strength, love, and perseverance. He showed me that love isn’t always happy, and grief isn’t always sad. We never imagined this to be our story, but it is. It is in the fabric of our family. We share Reid’s story because it keeps his memory and our love for him alive.  

reid

We are not alone.

There are so many other parents like us, and you may be one of them. Or, you may support a grieving parent as a family member, friend, or professional. Sometimes it’s hard to know what to do or say. For more on my story and guidance on supporting families like mine, view the video of our recent Infant Loss and Bereavement Panel. 

Related News & Stories

Find new ways to grow.

Program engagement specialist Michelle Terry discussing with a family child care home owner
Families

What to Look for in a Family Child Care Home

March 23, 2023
children gathered around camp counselors getting ready for tug of war
Families School Age

How to Find a Quality Summer Program

February 13, 2023
Sitou in African attire holding his parents' hands
Families Family Engagement Inclusion Providers

Culturally-Inclusive Conversations: “Ask Questions, and Be Curious.”

January 14, 2023
Newsletter

Early care and education news to your inbox

Count on our newsletters to get you the most important early care and education news, when you need it. We send a different newsletter each month to either families, child care professionals, or communities/employers. Sign up for one or all today!
CCA Logo White

Contact Us

info@childcareanswers.org
Phone: 317.636.5727 Toll Free: 800.272.2937
1776 N. Meridian St., Suite 101
Indianapolis, IN 46202

Our Partners

FSSA Logo

© 2023 Child Care Answers. All Rights Reserved.

Subscribe Privacy Policy
Twitter Logo
Facebook Logo
Instagram Logo
LinkedIn Logo
YouTube Logo
tiktok logo
Filter by Topic
Filter by Role
Filter by Resource Type
Post
What to Look for in a Family Child Care Home
Different families have different desires and needs for their child care programs. In Indiana, you can find safe, high-quality programs in homes, centers, schools, and faith-based early learning settings. Families may find personal pros and cons for each setting; however, understanding how to identify quality and knowing program safety requirements will help you make the […]
Program engagement specialist Michelle Terry discussing with a family child care home owner
Post
How to Find a Quality Summer Program
If you are looking for a sign to start your search for summer care, here it is! At Child Care Answers, we have been busy finding ways to support you. Last year, we shared four tips for finding a quality summer program, and they certainly still hold true. This year, we partnered with the Indiana […]
children gathered around camp counselors getting ready for tug of war
Post
Culturally-Inclusive Conversations: “Ask Questions, and Be Curious.”
The family is a child’s introduction to the world. A child’s identity is grounded by their culture and heritage. For families, there is pride and honor in sharing your culture with your child. As they step out of the home and into new environments, like child care, holding onto a family’s culture can become complicated. […]
Sitou in African attire holding his parents' hands